A couple of things.....

I have more than one thing I want to post about. I mean I could make up for my slacking and make multiple posts.....but I'm lazy, so, no.

First, I'm not sleeping...it's just not happening. I understand it's to be expected when pregnant. You come to that stage of just not being comfortable. I had it with Lilian's pregnancy, so it's not a surprise, but I didn't expect it this early, I'm only 6 months. I thought I had at least two more months to toss and turn all night. Sometimes it's hip and back pain that prevent me from sleeping, sometimes it's Lil'Peanut doing somersaults that keeps me from sleeping and other times I just cannot close my eyes. I'm exhausted, yes, but I cannot close my eyes to save my life. When I do close my eyes, I feel like I cannot get past a light phase of sleep, I don't dream, I simply drift at the top of sleep with a sense of every noise around me. Lilian scratches her head in her toddler bed, I'm awake. Our blinds shift, I'm awake. Peanut does one little kick, I'm awake. ((sigh)) Usually this would make for a very grumpy mama, but surprisingly, I'm not, just annoyed at myself that I cannot sleep. Like I can control it.....lame. If I could, this wouldn't be a problem.
Another thing that is fairly bothersome is my sinus. My nasal sinuses are annoying the crap out of me. I was never one to be bothered by pollen or allergens...ever, even when Florida gets hit hard in the early spring, but being pregnant doesn't help. Your nose goes in over drive when pregnant, and I'm no exception. While being pregnant, I usually get swollen sinuses which congest my sinus and gives me nose bleeds, but lately every morning my usual bloody congestion has been accompanied by sinus burning from the pollen in the air......I want to rip my nose off, but supposedly I need my nose to breath....blah blah blah.

Ok, I'm done complaining, I promise. I really love being pregnant. I was so happy when pregnant with Lilian and this pregnancy is no different. Sometimes I just feel like I'm too busy to enjoy it. But then when I feel Peanut wiggle and shift and kick, I cannot help but smile like a fool.

Now as most of you know, my family and I do not celebrate any holidays. ANY holidays. No birthdays, nothing. So this obviously includes Mother's Day. When people ask and I tell them, nope, we do not celebrate Mother's Day, I get a look of pity that usually confuses me. I really don't need a holiday set a side to remind my family "HEY, Appreciate me Damnit!" because they do on a regular basis. I am sure it's nice to be treated like a queen on a designated day a year, but I really don't feel like I'm missing out, honestly.
Anyways, on to my point, (I wrote that so this doesn't seem like a Mother's day post, it's just plain coincidence.)yesterday I got to thinking about how much I call my mom during the day, everday. After, maybe, the six call, I was thinking: "Why do I call her so much?" We don't always have long, in-depth conversations. It's usually just small talk, just little updates throughout the day, sometimes there will be a minute of silence to two. But I like to hear her voice and talk to her for a second. And then it hit me. She is my comfort. She is my security blanket. Whenever I have a hard time or feel like I am stuck between a impossible rock and hard place that not even the President of the United States of America can help me with, my lifeline is a just a ring away, my mom. There seriously has not been one situation that she wasn't able to fix or help me get through. Sometimes her power to make me feel better, fix my situation or just hug me and let me cry on her shoulder seem out of this world, it really does baffle me that one human being can contain this much comfort. All of my life she has been there, so it's not like this is something new. And of course I went through your typical "I hate everyone, because I'm a teenager." stage, but my mom still managed to be my best friend. Even though I pushed her away and probably made her cry in her bedroom without letting anyone know, she still came to my bedroom and we'd talk until 3 o'clock in the morning. I would tell her everything. She would always know what was going on in my life. Even if I knew she wouldn't like what I did, or be upset, I told her the truth. I couldn't really lie to her, because she was my best friend. I knew that she wouldn't yell or scream at me, make me feel like an idiot or "WHAT DID YOU DO?!". But more or less I know she would calmly say "Alright, well this is what I think we should do...." We had our little secrets, or girl only days, we had fun. That's why I call my mom so much during the day, because not only is she my mother, but she really is my best friends. No matter how much I say that she is, maybe someone will think "well, yeah, most mom's and daughters are good friends." No, we really are. When I look at Lilian I really hope I have her calling my six times a day, just to talk, just to say "So, what are you doing?" "Anything new with you?". I hope I'm her best friend too. Not by obligation, but by choice. That would let me know that I was really a good mom after all.