Thank you

Thanks to everyone for the well wishes and congrats. I had to cancel my OB appointment this morning. Looks like my insurance through DH's job isn't completely active until the first of January.
Anyways, I realize that my problems seem minuscule compared to a lot of women that are TTC and I do not mean to come off as "Oh woe is me." I do feel very lucky, and I do understand how hard it could be and that I have it very easy compared to a lot of others.
So I know I shouldn't have and a lot of you girls advised against me touching anymore tests...but I couldn't help myself.....Here is one from this morning. It looks darker in person. At least to me.

Well, my HPT's are not really getting any darker. Actually the test I took this morning was lighter than yesterday's and yesterday's was pretty light. Anyways, I guess we'll see what happens, but my hopes are not up. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Here is the best picture I could get, it's with my phone, because once again, my camera is acting up. The test on the top is from yesterday and the one on the bottom is from this morning.

Camera is working! But still takes blurry pictures.....Look below!

I mean you can clearly see what it says, but the picture I took this morning is blurry nonetheless.

*****If you know me on Fa.ce.boo.k PLEASE PLEASE KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!!!

That's right...she did it. HAH.

Lili has been putting herself to sleep. I just look for sleepy ques and lay her in her crib and she goes to sleep. BOOYAH! Haha. OK sorry that "booyah" wasn't very mature. But honestly that's what I feel like saying.
I cannot tell you how many people said "You shouldn't rock her to sleep, she'll never learn to sleep on her own." "You just need to let her cry it out, it's the only way." "You are making a mistake."
((blows rasberry))
I gave her time and now she does it all by herself. And I never had to let her cry it out....ever. She just proved my point that babies will do what we expect of them, just when they are ready to do it. I just noticed that she wasn't comfortable with me rocking her to sleep anymore, she'd constantly move and change positions, so I just laid her down one time in her crib, she laid there for a couple of minutes and when I came back to check on her, she was out like a light. Not a peep, not a cry. She's awesome.

Waves

I've been very emotional lately.

I don't know why. Hormones? I don't know where my hormones are at, so I can't say for sure.
But I'm all over the place with everything.

I feel mean and bitchy one second, and sincere and sweet the next. I'm overjoyed and appreciative, and then the next I'm overwhelmed and trapped. I have the patience of a nun and snap like a caged animal. ((sigh)) I am crying at the dumbest things....and nothing at all. I'm exhausted....it's physically making me tired. Whew. That felt good to write. I've kept this in for over a week now.

I don't let my tides of emotions out, for Lilian's sake really, plus I don't want to drive my husband crazy, he has enough stress, honestly.

This constant set of waves has me in a slump. A crappy slump I cannot get out of. Everyday I do exactly what is required of me as a mother and wife...and I sign out. I don't think I'm depressed really, I know how that feels. I'm in a mental state of laziness...extended stay.

Well in Lili news...she is awesome. She is running everywhere, growing so much everyday that it brings tears to my eyes. I've come to realization that I don't have a baby anymore, and then I wish I would have cherished her baby days even more, instead of being so stressed. But what can you do? So instead I just squeeze her as tight as I can....sometimes too tight and she squeaks..oops.

I wanted to ask all of you moms out there, what makes you a special mom? What part of your mother-child relationship do cherish the most that makes you special? For example, with my mom, I know, no matter what, she is there for me, at the drop of a dime, she is right there when I need her. With Lilian I try the same. I am always right there with her. I want her to feel no matter what she can count on me. She never has to feel scared if I am there to comfort her, to pick her up, to 'shhh' her, whatever she needs, in my power, I will provide. And if it's not in my power, I will find a way. So tell me, what makes you special?

Hello! ((waving)) I'm still alive!

Man, do I suck.
Not only am I a really bad blogger, but I haven't read a single blog post by any blog I follow. I don't know what my deal is, I have no want to read or write, lame, I know.
Everything is the same with me. Absolutely nothing has changed, nothing new...at all.

Lilian is getting four molars, so she is a little clingy and grumpy to say the least. A weekend ago we were at a friends house, watching a football game, Lilian was h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e. She wouldn't let go of my leg, I couldn't set her on the ground, no one could even look at her without her break out into a meltdown. I understand she is in pain...but seriously, chill out for a minute, I would like the feeling in my right leg to return, at least for two minutes. I gave her Tylenol, that was working as fast as we'd all like (Lilian included), so we tried some old remedies and she passed out almost instantly. Whew. That was an exhausting day.
I hate days like that, because I don't want people that don't know Lili to think she is a clingy, grumpy, over sensitive child, ya know? She's doing better, but still grumpy. All of her molars are coming in at different times, so it'll be a little bit until I get my old baby back.
Have you ever come to the realization that your life is NOT interesting enough to write about? That's where I am at right now....I'm boring. Our weekend was boring, just lounging around, we are a big family of boring.
In other news, or the past two to three nights I have had almost zero hours of sleep. The reason? A teething baby? A snoring husband? A snoring dog that has dramatic dream after dream? Well, yes, I have all of the above, but not one is the cause of my sleepless nights, I've mastered those noises. For the last couple of nights, I've heard scratching and squeaking and growling.....yes, growling under the floors in my bedroom. Ladies and gentlemen, we have some critters under living under my house. As soon as the sunsets this little family of critters go to town and I cannot sleep a wink, it creeps me out, makes my skin crawl. I hear them run back and forth, I hear them scratch themselves, I hear them squeak to each other, I've heard a stray cat get underneath there and terrorize their little village. Which that stupid cat obviously did a crap job, because they are still there. The reason why I cannot sleep is because the sounds really sound like they are in our bedroom, I know they aren't but it bothers me nonetheless. What's a girl to do? Get an arsenal of anti-critter weapons. ((sigh)) I would hate to have to ruin their little home, but I need sleep.....seriously. It's me or them.

Bye bye rodents {{ insert evil laugh}}

Picnic, HERE WE COME!

Lilian is a walking pro now, and we are going to a picnic this afternoon, Lilian is going to have so much fun. The weather is awesome outside, there will be food and friends.
So back to Lilian being a walking pro.
Before, Lili would walk several steps to her destination and slam into whatever she was trying to get to, but now, she can walk, and walk, and walk. She can bend over and pick something up without falling and turn around, no problem. I am amazed and thrilled about my little marathon goer, but I'm also exhausted.
Jace and I went to a store yesterday evening to get a few small things, with Lili in tow of course. Well it was a little late for Lili so she was understandabley crumpy. She didn't want to be a cart, nor did she want to be held. So on the floor she went, walking that is. I didn't put shoes on her, only socks, oh well, she wanted to walk, whatever. Anyways, as I was looking for a particular product, I see in my perifular vision Lilian walking away. It didn't bother me, because, well she is a new walker, how fast can she go? Pretty dang fast man. In a blink of an eye, she was in the freezer section with a bag of hair rollers in her hands, hilarious. How ghetto we must have looked. I'm chasing a baby at the market that is wearing no shoes, only socks, running in the freezer section with a bag of hair rollers ((sigh)).
I let her continue to hold on the the hair rollers, as long as she followed me. Yeah, she followed me alright. I took her into the hair care section, she proceeded to stick one arm out and walk down the aisle trying to knock all the shampoo bottles down. She didn't succeed thank goodness. Then, she saw a chance to run for the freezer section again, giggling all the while, it was too cute, oh, still holder hair rollers. So finally we went to check out, a small box of candy caught her eye. She carefully walked over to it, carefully put her hand on it, and it fell. She looked at me like "Mom, I swear I didn't mean it." I scooped her and the candy up.....it was time to leave.


Since my camera is still ( yes, STILL) in the process of repair, I have to take pictures with my phone of her walking skill at the park today, so I can show her off. HAHA.

So, I've been MIA

My bad.
I've been really busy lately. I've been babysitting a friend's little munchkin, and wow, do I NOT get things done around the house, much less have any time to myself. They are only two months apart, plus he is walking, so I am constantly running around the house trying to catch them, HAH. It's fun though, they are so funny together. So what's new blog world? I've been slacking on the commenting, sorry. I swear I'll write something interesting when things slow down around here. But in the mean time, here are some pics of the little munchkins.

Where do I start?

I hate watching the news. If I'm watching T.V and it comes on, I switch the channel immediately. I hate the news with a passion. I know ignorance is bliss, and I guess my hate for the news falls into this category, but I hear and feel like I'm surrounded by bad stories, sad situations and scary things enough. I don't need the news to send me over the edge.
Anyways, I said all that to say this. I feel blessed. With everything going on in the world, I am so lucky to have such a great husband and beyond believably awesome daughter. I am so blessed that she is healthy and vibrant and that she is mine. When I see her smile, my heart melts every single time. And now that she is walking, I am reminded how lucky I am that she is healthy. And every time I see her dad make her laugh uncontrollably, I am reminded how lucky I am to have a such a great husband and father to my child.
Everytime I look at this face, I remember how great my life is:



An update on Lili's growing vocabulary:
She now says "no way!" and "Please" ( sounds more like peas). I have no idea how she picked up please, but I say "no way" to her when she talk jibberish to me, kinda like we are having a conversation.
I took her to the park today on a playdate with her friend "A". He is 2 months younger then her, but he is walking like a mad man, they had so much fun walking all over the park together, and pushing each other over, of course. So cute.

mmm No.

That's Lilian's new word. I ask her to do something. What do I get? " Mmm, no."
I love the little 'mmm', like she's thinking about her answer.
She's officially walking.... all. over. the. place. Yesterday is when she started walking everywhere on her own, without anyone asking her to come here or go there. I cried. Yeah. I know, I'm lame. It was a happy sad cry, my baby isn't a baby anymore. She's officially a little, on-the-go, toddler. I thought this day would never come. Why is it for some reason, us moms, think that our babies are immune to time? I mean logically we know that they will grow up, but when we start seeing the milstones fly by, we ask ourselves, "What the heck is going on??"
My husband said "You are going to want another baby now, right?" Um, no. Just because one baby is moving on, I'm not. I just don't know if I could handle two babies. That's a lot of energy that I am not sure I have.
That's all of my news for now. Oh and Congrats Christina on the new baby!!

Sometimes I surprise myself

Two weeks ago to the day my husband and I were having a texting conversation. In this conversation I relayed to him that I thought I was ovulating, his response (such a guy response) "So are we going to make some babies?!" HAH. No.
So this morning, my affirmations were confirmed, Aunt Flo showed up this morning. I was guessing she was coming. I had back and stomach cramps for a while, a unquenchable hunger and thirst and of course the blues. Oddly enough I was glad to see her. For one reason because this means I know my body better than I thought, I could read my bodily signs enough to know I was ovulating without temping and ovulation tests. That means a lot to me, since for a while I thought I was completely clueless as to what my body was doing. So all in all, I happy to know my body works and I DO have a clue as to what is going on with my girl parts. ((sigh)) That's a sigh of slight relief. So to set the record start it's been almost two years since I've had a period.......it's weird to go that long without AF. I cannot say I missed her really, but hey at least I know that she works.


Here are some pictures of my little artist.........that likes to eat paint. It must be yummy, she stuck it on her tongue about four times, that I saw at least.

Typical Monday

I really don't have anything to post about I just want that picture of myself in the post below to not be on top. Whoa. That was a run-on sentence.
Lilian gets her second dose of the flu vaccine today. And we are in the midst of eating trouble. It's so hard to understand what textures and flavors she will eat. It sucks that it takes so much time for me to prepare her food, just to find out that she doesn't want to eat it. ((sigh)) It stresses me out. So any mom's out there wanna share what they give their little ones to eat? Please. I'm desperate. Lili loves white rice, broccoli, chicken, turkey, and any other vegtable as long as it's chopped up. If I try to give her any other type of noodles or grains...she spits it out. I even tried mixing vegtables and meat with mashed sweet potato...that was a no go. She also loves mac'n cheese, and those little meals that Ge.r.ber makes, but how healthy can those really be?
Any ways, my main concern is to get her to eat healthy, and not the same thing over and over again, ya know? So if you have any ideas......help me. Thanks.

TA-DA!

This is it!

Today is the last day with my nice, long, all natural brunette hair. I'm going to miss it, but I am also looking forward to not having to use so much shampoo and conditioner. I am looking forward to not spending so much time having to brush my hair, and Lili not pull my hair out of my head thinking it's a toy. So here is a picture of how my hair looks now.
This picture was taken like six months ago, so my hair is a lot longer than that, about four to five inches longer.






This picture is so you can see my color. It's like a medium brown.



I am looking forward to change, since my hair has been like this for about two years now, but I'm apprehensive also, as anyone would be. I enjoy having the same hair color as my daughter, and I like that we match, but I need to change my hair.
Tomorrow I will post a new picture of me! YAY. I'm excited.

I just want to get this off my chest

It really disappoints me how many women are uneducated and misinformed about their bodies and birth control.....((sigh)) That's all.

Dentist appointment yesterday

Lilian had to get a potential cavity taken care of yesterday. They coated her tooth with a plastic substance to make sure it doesn't get worse. I was nervous of course, because this office has a policy of not letting parents in the back with their children. And since I am a stay at home mom, Lilian and I are rarely apart, so I thought she might be a little nervous. Well right before her procedure they call us in the back to give us a run down of the procedure. Right before the dental asst. starts, she pushes a paper in my direction with a pen and asked me to initial the bottom. I asked what it was. She said it's a consent form for them to use a "papoose" Blanket....."umm, ok. What is that?" Her words "It's just a blanket to refrain the baby from hurting her self or anyone else." She said blanket, the form said blanket.......it's not a damn blanket. When I got home and looked up images of this said "blanket" I was upset. It's pretty much canvas straps they put around the babies chest/arm area to pin her down during the procedure . When I visited this website that showed what a papoose blanket looked like for babies, a video started playing of a news anchor interviewing a pediatric dentist on his view of the use of such restraints on babies and children, he said "Papoose restraints and blankets should only be used for extreme cases and disabled children, not everyday procedures. Doing so is traumatic for the patients and often times fosters a fear of the dentist. It's a efficient way for dentist to restrain patients rather then doing it themselves or having a parent involved."
When I heard this I was upset. I was misled. I am not going back. I am traveling out of the county to a pediatric dentist that allows parents to be involved and doesn't restrain a baby in such a aggressive way.
Lilian's procedure took about 35 minutes. When she came out her eyes were puffy beyond recognition. She was inhaling very sporadic and intense as if she cried for a long time and very hard, and when she did inhale her whole body shook. I cried instantly. What did they do? I just grabbed her quickly, she layed her head on my shoulder and we walked out. I didn't say a word to anyone, just left. While she was in the room getting her tooth fixed, my mother got her a balloon because she loves them so much, it made her feel a little better. I am still upset. I feel like I let my little one down. My husband wasn't too happy once he heard the ordeal. Here is Lili as soon as we walked out of the office. That's a mosquito bite on her forehead by the way.




On to a different subject. I am chopping off my hair...yup and it's getting colored. So we are going from long as hell, undyed hair to short, completely colored hair.....wonder what Lili will think of her new mommy.

Is it morning already?

I am so tired. I didn't go to sleep to late I guess, around one in the morning.
Ahhh what I wouldn't give to be able to sleep in until ten thirty in the morning. But waking up to such a cutie makes waking up at 8 o'clock seem like nothing. When she wakes up, she puts her nose right to mine and starts babbling, like she knows how to be cute or something. She's dangerous. HAH.
Here's the subject for this post. It's kinda long, but here we go.

I am generally a nice person. I think so. I mean I speak my mind and sometimes it comes off as rude or mean or a b!tch I guess, but I think people just misunderstand. I say what I feel, and try to be tactful and not rude, but it doesn't always happen. Anyways, my point is this, I try my hardest to be courteous of people, I am speaking of strangers that is. I let people into traffic, all the time, even if it means I'll miss a light. I let people cut in front of me in line, if I have more things. I help little old ladies open doors or pick up things they've dropped. You get the picture. I do those kinds of things numerous times a day (especially the little old lady thing, we are over run with old people here.) But I can't tell you how many times people just over look me when I need obvious help. For example. I'll have grocery bags in my hands, a baby in the other and I'm trying to get to my car, but I drop my keys, a person will see this, even make eye contact with me, but keep on waking. I cannot tell you how many times that has happened to me (yes, I've dropped my keys that many times.) Oh another example, I was at the movies with my husband and two friends. The movie was over, we just stood up to walk out of the aisle, not even 30 seconds passed when the couple behind said "Could we get a move on here?" "Yeah, what the hell is the hold up?" I just looked at them, blank expression and proceeded to walk. I didn't say a thing. Now usually I would have tore them a new butt hole, but it wasn't worth it. But it's things like that, that make me think, "is it even worth it to be nice to people?"
Another example. I was 40weeks pregnant, I was walking from my work during lunch break to get some lunch down the street. I was walking behind some restraunts when a oncoming van forced me to the side of the road. As I walked to the side of the road I slipped on some algae that was growing in a puddle, I fell instantly. As I fell, the van passed right next to me. Did they even brake? Nope. Look, yes, make sure I was ok? No. Not even a little. Bastards. What if I was seriously injured? I was nine months pregnant for goodness sake, but they didn't care that they just passed a pregnant woman that just ate some concrete. Needless to say, I was fine, but I started crying like a baby...well..because I was pregnant.

Even after that I still treat people with courtesy and go out of my way to be polite. But honestly mankind makes it hard to be nice when they're such jerks. And I'm not trying to imply anything, but I am just throwing this out there, most of the time, it's men that totally ignore my need of help....I am just saying...that's all.

So I guess I'm giving a disclaimer here, if you drop something or need a door opened, or if you fall and need a hand...don't count on me, I might give up this whole "be nice" gimmick. It's overrated, and people don't deserve it.

Wordless Wednesday

Attachement Parenting?

So I guess by guidelines yes, I follow attachment parenting, per say. For those that aren't too clear on this term here is the correct definition of attachment parenting.

Attachment parenting: a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. Sensitive and emotionally available parenting helps the child to form a secure attachment style which fosters a child's socio-emotional development and well being. Less sensitive and emotionally available parenting or neglect of the child's needs may result in insecure forms of attachment style, which is a risk factor for many mental health problems. In extreme and rare conditions the child may not form an attachment at all and may suffer from reactive attachment disorder as defined in DSM-IV and ICD-10. Principles of attachment parenting aim to increase development of child's secure attachment and decrease insecure attachment.

1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
2. Feed with Love and Respect
3. Respond with Sensitivity
4. Use Nurturing Touch
5. Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
6. Provide Consistent Loving Care
7. Practice Positive Discipline
8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

These values are interpreted in a variety of ways. Many attachment parents also choose to live a natural family living (NFL) lifestyle, such as natural childbirth, home birth, stay-at-home parenting, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling, unschooling, the anti-circumcision movement, natural health, cooperative movements, naturism and support of organic and local foods.

To get the full aspect of AP, I would highly suggest looking it up and doing more reading on the subject.

Now I know this is sometimes a touchy subject for some moms, but to me it's not. The only reason why I don't get all hot and bothered, is because, frankly, I don't care how you raise your child. As long as your child isn't abused and they are healthy, do what you feel is best.

I've done most things listed above, I had a natural birth, I breastfeed, we co-sleep and Lili determines most things in her schedule. If she is not tired when it's bed time, I let her play, if she is not hungry, she doesn't have to eat. At that moment. I'll give her some time and then I proceed with her schedule. I am not rigid, but I'm not a push over either. What mommy says goes...eventually. I personally believe AP, is the best option. I personally believe breastfeeding is best, I personally believe that if a child wants to sleep in the family bed, it should be allowed. I personally believe that letting a child cry it out is a little cruel. I personally believe that AP creates a fantastic parent-child bond. BUT, I also believe some parents take AP a little too far. Now, I don't do the whole "only organic" thing, I am not going to do the home school thing and I do not do the natural health gimic either. I don't think I want to deprive my child from public schooling, vaccines or regular food, but hey, that's me. I think when AP is pushed to the limit we come out with pasty, immune defiecent, whining, stubborn children.

There needs to be a balance, hopefully I've captured that balance. I want Lili to learn on her own, so when it comes to a lot of things, I let go.If I see she is about to fall on her tush, I don't run to put a pillow under her bum. But I also still nurse her because she decided it isn't time to stop yet.

So yeah I guess I am a baby-wearing, extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby scheduling mom. What are you?

Let's take a break and view some adorable pictures! YAY!

I guess I've upset someone enough to unsubscribe from my blog?! Wow.

*

Today Lilian has a playdate with a little boy, he is only two months younger then her. He is already walking and he is so adorable. I really hope they have fun, Lilian doesn't really have anyone else her age to play with. I mean she has a cousin, but ever time I try to get them together, the plans always fall through or I just don't get a call back. ANYWAYS.

As we all know, my camera is in for repair, so I took some pictures of my little girls with my sucky phone.


This is Lili's "I'm done playing, I'm ready for a nap." position.



She is frustrated that she has to eat lunch.





Lilian got a balloon from a cashier at the grocery store....she wouldn't let it go...even when she was eating some peanut butter crackers.



Lilian with her new balloon, right now it's the greastest thing ever!




Lilian got a grocery cart toy, she loves it, she walks around the house putting stuff in it and taking stuff out....she takes it very seriously.






My little boo boo.

Mixed bag

Alright so I promised a juicy post. This is my attempt. Sorry ahead of time if it sucks.

I'll ask a couple of hypothetical questions for you guys.
We all have at least one close girl friend right? The one that we knew for a long time, we always told them our secrets and troubles. Even if you didn't keep in touch, you still talked to them like you never missed a day. Well say you two were lucky enough to get pregnant and have your children close together. How awesome. Say months went by and you two were on the phone constantly. "Well my baby just did this, what should I do?" "What did you do?". You were always exchanging advice, asking questions....the typical first time mom thing. The novelty of being a first time mom eventually wears off and you aren't talking as much again, but of course you still keep up with her. And in the act of keeping up with each other you start to notice her mother skills are slacking....bad. You notice she's never spending time with her baby, instead, the baby is spending 85% of it's time at the baby sitters instead of with your friend....because you know....your friend likes to party. Every time you are at your friends house, you notice a new guy coming out of her bedroom, you also notice her baby's diaper is usually falling off because it's so full. You also pick up on that the baby usually always smells like spit up. You ask when the last time the baby had a bath, and the response is " I don't know....3 days?".
By this time the baby is 18 months and still mainly crawling and not really talking besides saying the usual "Dada" and "Mama".
What would you do?
Now remember, this is your best friend. Would you bring it up to her that she's not being a good mother? Would you report her for inspection? Would you bring it up to her family? Would you leave it alone hoping it would work itself out?



If someone approached your closest friend or significant other and asked them what your most annoying quality was, what do you think their answer would be?

Mine? My husband would probably say I look for instant action. For example, if I come up with a good idea, I want it completed instantly....that very second. A couple of years ago, after one of our dogs had to go to a rescue, a couple of months later my husband said, " Maybe it's time we look for a playmate for our other dog, now that Cali is gone." I got a dog that afternoon. So what's yours?

Whew!

So my hips are hurting. I am so glad I got to rest and not run today, because I'm in pain.

Thanks for all the comments on my last post, you gals are awesome. I have nothing really exciting to post about, mainly just wanted to thank you girls for your comments. I just got Lili down for the night, my sweet man of a husband is coming back soon from the store with some beers for me, and we are going to relax and spend some time together. I feel relaxed just typing that. HAH. I promise I will post something juicy tomorrow, I have some topics I would like to discuss, hehehe. Toodles!

A Two-fer!

So Jess nominated me for this award....how awesome.




I already did the one word quiz....but in honor of this award I'll do it again. Then I'll make my real post!


Award & 1-word quiz!
Here are the rules:
1. You can only use one word!
2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers!
3. Alert them that you have given them this award!
4. Have fun!

The Fun Part
1. Where is your cell phone? Charging
2. Your hair? Nest
3. Your mother? Nuturing
4. Your father? Stubborn
5. Your favorite food? Sushi
6. Your dream last night? forgot
7. Your favorite drink? tea
8. Your dream/goal? School
9. What room are you in? Computer
10. Your hobby? Running
11. Your fear? loss
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy
13. Where were you last night? Running
14. Something that you aren’t? Awake
15. Muffins? Yes?
16. Wish list item? Shoes
17. Where did you grow up? Beach
18. Last thing you did? Diaper
19. What are you wearing? P.J's
20. Your TV? On
21. Your pets? Outside
22. Friends? love
23. Your life? Perfect
24. Your mood? Tired (does that count?)
25. Missing someone? yes
26. Vehicle?Parked
27. Something you’re not wearing? Make up
28. Your favorite store? Gap
29. Your favorite color? Blue/Brown
30. When was the last time you laughed? earlier
31. Last time you cried? Awhile
32. Your best friend? Jace
33. One place that I go to over and over? Target
34. One person who emails me regularly? Mom
35. Favorite place to eat? Chili's



I nominate:

Misty
Lauren
Liz
Christina
Danny

If you already received this award.....my bad.

On to the second part of my post. My brother and sister-in-law have inspired Jace and I to start running. They've been running for a little bit now and are planning on participating in a marathon this up coming month. So Last night started Jace and I's training. Oh and of course Lili....but she feel asleep during the training. We ran two miles and some change last night, it was awesome. My back is killing me along with my hips, but it was well worth it. Tonight is my 15 minute run and then tomorrow is my day off. I think this will be a good way to take off the last three pounds of baby weight. Anyone else still have baby weight? How much weight did you gain during your pregnancy? How much did you lose or not lose? (You don't have to answer if you don't wanna, just being nosey.) I gained a total of 40lbs when pregnant and lost 30lbs right off the bat. It took about three months post-partem to lose 7 more pounds, now I only have three more to go, it's crazy how much of a difference three pounds makes.

((sigh))

Just for fun

These questions were part of an award....that I didn't received. It looked like fun, so I wanna do it. Award schward. The instructions say to answer the questions with only one word. So here it goes.


1. Where is your cell phone? Pocket
2. Your hair? Natural
3. your mother? Awesome
4. Your father? Strong
5. Your favorite food? Seafood
6. Your dream last night? Scary
7. Your favorite drink? Tea
8. Your dream/goal? School
9. What room are you in? Small
10. Your hobby? Running
11. Your fear? Pain
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Independent
13. Where were you last night? Parents
14. Something that you aren't? Wuss
15. Muffins? Drool
16. Wish list item?Dress
17. Where did you grow up? South
18. Last thing you did? Pump
19. What are you wearing? Jeans
20. Your TV? Dora
21. Your pets? Doberman
22. Friends? Great
23. Your life? Awesome
24. Your mood? Captivated
25. Missing someone? No
26. Vehicle? Reliable
27. Something you're not wearing? Shoes
28. Your favorite store? Target
29. Your favorite color? Brown
30. When was the last time you laughed? earlier
31. Last time you cried? awhile
32. Your best friend? Jace
33. One place that I go to over and over? oldnavy.
34. One person who emails me regularly? Hope
35. Favorite place to eat? Chili's

Welcome to Toddler-hood

Dear Larissa, Mother of Lilian,
Today we welcome you to toddler hood, which will eventually consist of toy aisle tantrums which may include, but are not limited to: snot excreting from the nose, screams that can be heard all the way to the cash register and embarrassment only a mother can anticipate.
Toddler hood will also consist of: Seeing your little "baby" grow up right before your eyes. Get the feeling like your "little stinker" is growing up too fast and learning too quickly. Getting teary eyed when your little one catches your eye across the room just to smile at you. You realizing that you are no longer the mother of an infant or baby. That the next big step is elementary school. You realizing that those "newborn" days that you were so stressed out about and sleep deprived, are days you actually miss and when you look back at them, you actually exclaim "awww" out loud.

Today at this exact time, 7:20am I was in the hospital, 4cm dialated and contracting every 8 minutes, in less then six hours, I would be meeting my Lilian. She was place on my chest the second I gave birth to her. I remember feeling her little tush and crying my eyes out, looking up at my husband and not even recognizing him, because he was full of tears with a red face. He leaned over and kissed both Lilian and I, whispering " I love you guys."
I remember sleeping one hour that night. I wasn't even tired. I just stared at her while she slept next to hospital bed. She was so content. I was so terrified. I was responsible for this little person. Holy. Crap.
I followed her everywhere, every time the nurses came in and asked if they can take her to the nursery to check her stats, I followed right behind. I remember not wanting to go come from the hospital, I remember when the nurse pushed me through the hospital to my car, I was so proud holding my Lilian, I swear my face was as bright as a 60 watt bulb. I remember being terrified of the ride home, but she just slept right through it. When we got home, I slept on the couch, purposely uncomfortable so when she needed to be fed, I'd be awake and ready to go. I remember my husband trying to help me relax, I remember crying on his shoulder for no reason and being terrified for no reason. I remember thinking that it'll take forever for her to turn one year old. Now that I look back on everything, I wish I had those days back, I would try and make them last forever.
Now I have a wonderful, silly, excited, glowing, smart happy toddler. I love how passionate she is about everything. I love how smart she is, I love how brave she is. I love how silly she is, I love it how when she knows that she is doing something that makes you laugh, she'll do it longer or more. I love cuddling with her in bed and feeling her little warm feet drape over my legs. I love waking up and seeing her sleeping face, she looks so happy and comfortable. I love seeing her get excited about something, she points and opens her mouth really wide and gasps, like to say "No way!!!".
I can't wait for her to grow up but another part of me wants her to stay a baby forever.

Picture withdrawl!

My camera is broken and I haven't been able to take any pictures of my adorable baby....ahem....sorry, I mean toddler.
She has been getting better at walking. She can totally do it, but she's too scared to walk on her own. I'll hold her hands, she'll get moving, I will slowly let go, and she'll walk a couple of steps, and then you can see that she realizes no one is holding on to her, and she'll fall on her diaper. Wow that was a run on sentence.
I'm also trying to get her to eat more table food. She ate mac'n cheese yesterday for lunch and the day before she ate chicken for lunch. I'm going to be so embarrassed when her doctor asks what she is eating and I am going to have to say that she is still eating a lot of baby food. I try to give her table food, but she won't eat enough to be considered a healthy meal, so I have to supplement with baby food. I know it's probably enableing her, but what else should I do? This is my first time, so I guess it's trial and error. I know this sounds a little dramatic, but I feel like I messed up. I mean she's gonna be one year old tomorrow and she's still on baby food? What the hell. I feel like the parent of that five year old you see still in a stroller and sucking on a pacifier, does that make sense? She's still nursing too, but that doesn't bother me. I'll let her nurse until she's ready to stop. I mean I am not going to nurse until she's going into elementry school, but I'm not stopping at one either, I mean she's not stopping at one.
((sigh)) There are a lot of things that I did with Lilian that I think I'll do differently with our next child. Sometimes when I sit and think about it, it feels like I did a lot of things wrong. I know it's a mom thing to feel, and I know I tried my best, but it's hard to not doubt yourself, ya know? Anyways....let's talk about my baby factory. So remember back when I posted I got AF? Well I didn't. I like spotted for two days, and that was it. And now it's happening again, what is up with that? It's really annoying. I'm not pregnant either. So that's not it. My body hates me. I hate my body, it goes hand in hand.

Tomorrow is Lilian's wellness check up, I'll update you tomorrow.

I got my tetanus vaccine yesterday....my arm is useless. It doesn't hurt really, it just feels like my arm weighs 20lbs, just to lift it. Anyways, I'm exhausted, I don't know why, but I really don't feel like posting anything. I'll come back with something interesting. I promise.

Yesterday was so much fun! We (Lilian and me) didn't do anything out of the ordinary. Just hung out at my parents house until the afternoon, went home to meet Jace, and then we (Jace, Lilian and me) went out to eat. Lilian loooooooooooooves fries....I think that's bad. But every time I would have a fry in my hand she would grab my hand and bring it to her mouth. I also gave her a couple of bites of my chicken sandwich...she loved it. After dinner, we went home and played on the floor with all of her toys for an hour then it was time to start the bed time routine. She ate dinner ( a really good dinner) and took a bath. I brushed her teeth, put lotion on her and brushed her hair along with cleaning out her ears and nose (she likes to store food in her nose) and proceeded to nurse her to sleep like I usually do. She didn't fall asleep though. I looke down and I see two little eyes staring back at me....then a smile. So back to the living room floor covered in toys we went.

I ended up getting a phone call from my mom. My parents and brother with his wife were at a Bar/restaurant called Br.ew Ga.rd.en. Lili wasn't tired, I wasn't tired, so we went. There was a live band playing, Lili started dancing and laughing, it was a hiliarious show. We got home about an hour later and off to bed we went.

So my Saturday was nice...my Friday? Not so much. I had to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to get Lili to her appointment to get a flu shot. I had to get a flu shot and then I stepped on a rusty roof nail. Now I italilsized rusty because it wasn't questionably rusty, or here or there rusty.....the whole dange thing was unbelievably rusty. I was taking out the garbage in my husband's flip flops... and suddenly I felt this horrible dull pain in my foot, I lift my foot up and notice a nail sticking through the sandal and into my foot. I had to pull it out. That sucked. Luckily it didn't go too far in, not bad at all. It still hurt really bad though. I called three different places, all said I have to go get a tetanus shot....((sigh)). So have I gone yet? Nope. Why? Because I'm lazy, and I feel like I'm wasting time. Sounds ridiculous right? I know. I am going to my health department tomorrow to get one...I swear. I have to get a shot within three days of the incident according to poision control. So Monday is the third day...I'll let you know of my jaw starts locking up before that.

Stinker cannot breathe

Lili is sick. Poor thing couldn't breathe last night, so it was a hell of a night. She would wake up crying almost every 45 minutes it felt like. I got no sleep.
I took some pain reliever P.M's last night so I could fall asleep at a decent time ( I have a hard time falling asleep). Yeah. Those suckers didn't work at all. Two hours post pills, I'm wide awake watching t.v waiting for them to at least make me drowsy. Nothing. Anyways, I took them because like I said I needed to get to bed because this morning, I had to be at Lili's pediatrician at 8:45 am for her flu shot; he is about 30 minutes away. So I knew I'd be tired. Well it didn't matter what time I got to bed, I was up every hour with Lili anyways.
She did well with her vaccine. She didn't even know she got a shot. Well stinker is up from her nap.

((Sigh))
Alright, I'm back. We went out to lunch. Is it bad that I took out my congested baby? I figure she's going to be congested no matter where she is, home or out.
I just got her down for another nap, her last one was a sorry excuse for a nap. Usually to get her down for a nap I hold her facing me and rock her. This time while I was rocking her, I guess she wasn't tired and thought it was hilarious to make motor boat noises in my cleavage.....I kid you not. I am wearing a low cut shirt so she was eye level with the 'girls'. I couldn't help but laugh when she giggled, but that just egged her on. That's all the news for now, I'm going to get my flu shot in a couple of hours...I'm a wimp. I gave natural birth, I have nine piercings and three tattoo's, but I'm nervous about getting a vaccine....lame.

Fall in Florida

It's so nice outside, it's 68 degrees. Yes. That's right friends....68 degrees is considered crisp to us Floridians. We are a warm bunch.
I felt it when I woke up this morning, not Lili's wet cheap diapers, I felt that it was nice a cool outside. I don't know how I do it, it's not like I actually feel the temperature, I can tell it's cool outside without actually going outside.
It is going to be a little hard to enjoy the outside weather because I feel like complete and utter crap...yup...crap. I have snot dripping out of my nose, my right eye is swollen from sinus pressure, I am sneezing like a mad man and I can't smell or taste a thing. Oh well. What can you do?
So back to Lili's wet diaper this morning. So my little stinker sleeps with me in the morning....we both like this accommodation. So as we are cuddling I feel her little bum is wet. Yup. Her pee actually penetrated the diaper. The one time I actually buy the cheaper diapers, because I thought to myself "It can't be that bad....it's just supposed to absorb, it'll be ok." Nope, it's not ok. Her butt was wet, her clothes were wet, my sheets were wet. Stupid diapers. They were half the price for a reason, because they are half as good. This is just a public service announcement: Do NOT buy store brand diapers, they suck. If as a Mother, you feel a product will not work for your baby....you are probably right.
Alright, I'm stepping down from my soap box.

Yesterday Lili and I were playing outside with Duke. He is our 5 year old Dobermand Pinscher. He loves his Lili. Here is a picture of my handsome pup and some pictures of him and Lili playing when she was five months old.
So as I was saying we were outside playing with Duke. Lili would follow him EVERY WHERE. She would then grab his red ball that is laying on his paws and give it back to him. Duke would very gently take it from her little hands, when he would take it from her hands, his mouth is the lenght of her arms, so her entire arm would disappear into his mouth. Then she would grab it again, Duke would get all excited, thinking that she is about to throw it for him, nope, she would just take a step or two and hand it back to him, he was fine with that. He would gladly take it. I need to take more pictures of them...my camera took a poop though.

Growing up the odd one out.

I'm going to write about something that's pretty personal to me and that is growing up as and currently being a Jehovah's Witness.
I'm not going to write about what we believe in or anything like that, but more of what I had to grow through on a daily basis. I understand everyone has been made fun of one time or another, maybe because of a birthmark, being overweight, braces or maybe too tall. When you get teased for something like that, you don't have a choice but carry around the object of your teasing, but growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, I had a choice on a daily basis if I wanted to endure teasing and ridicule. I could pretend I wasn't a 'witness' today, and everyone would leave me alone. No one would know.
Going through school as a witness (I will refer to being a Jehovah's Witness as 'witness') was hard. As a witness, I didn't celebrate any holidays which included birthdays, nor did I say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning. As everyone knows from personal experience, children are cruel, so when children observed me not taking part in Birthdays I usually got made fun of. I didn't mind getting sent to the library to sit by myself while the class celebrated birthdays, I didn't mind having to sit on the bench during chorus because they were singing Christmas Carols. I didn't mind not being able to dress up and go trick or treating....really I didn't, I never felt like I missed a thing. I didn't miss not getting birthday gifts or party.
The only part of not celebrating holidays that bothered me and usually brought me to tears was when I got made fun of, told I was a freak and idiot. Or when I would get ridiculed by close family that weren't witness's, or when they would try to pin me against me mother, because she declined a invitation to holiday party. That hurt. It hurt when I grew up and the same part of my family still didn't understand we had beliefs and we weren't going to compromise those beliefs for them. But even if we did, say for one day we decided "Whatever! Let's go to Thanksgiving dinner!" It always baffled me how this said family would not feel bad for talking some into compromising their beliefs...I don't know. It hurt when that same part of my family tried playing the guilty card by saying it was hard for them .....for them.....hard for them... to grow up with witness's as relatives. It was hard for them to go through holidays knowing we weren't going to be at the Christmas dinner or birthday. It's hard for me to feel bad, especially after all the nagging and persecution I've gone through, I have no empathy I guess.

I want to raise Lilian with good standards. I want to raise her the best way I can. I look back at the job my parents did, I look at the job my in-laws did, and I hope to follow in those foot steps. I need to show Lilian that no matter how much she goes through for sticking to her standards, principles and beliefs, it's worth enduring it.
Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness is something I rarely ever talk about, I don't harp on it, I don't even really think about it. I figure every person has their belief that someone will not agree with, so I am no different, I'm not special. But when family threaten to never let their child develop a relationship with Lilian, it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that even after so much we ,as mankind, have broadened out and come to accept others for whatever they stand for, a simple invitation decline can bring down 24 years of a family relationship and future relationship of little cousins. My heart hurts now. But I know I need to stand for my beliefs, because if I don't now, all those years of standing for I believe in will be pointless.




I just wanted to add something. Lauren, here is the answer to your question. Thanks for asking.

Have you thought about what you will do or how you will react if Lillian chooses not to follow in the witness path? Or how you will answer her questions regarding other religions?

I haven't really thought about it, but coming from personal experience, I would have to let Lili do what she thinks she needs to do. I wouldn't be happy about it, but I really wouldn't have a choice. When I was a teenager I decided that being a witness wasn't something I wanted to do. I rebelled in every aspect you can think of, for a while too. But I came back to the religion because I thought it was the right choice for me. And I hope that if anything like that happens with Lili she'll make the same choice.
As far as answering her questions regarding other religions, I would encourage her to do research and find the answers she is looking for, the same thing my parents told me when I was younger. Actually when I was younger, in highschool, I took four years of world religions class to learn about other religions, it was something I wanted to be educated about.

The cutest baby in the world and a little town in Georgia

So I know it's a complete 'Mom' thing to say, but seriously....it's hard to believe that there is a cuter baby then my Lili ( I know it's possible, but I have mommy goggles on.) I love how she sits in her play pen, holds on to her stuffed mouse and watches her educational shows, while I drink my coffee. During comercials she plays with her toys and then, when show comes back on, she slowly sits right back down, sometimes crosses her legs, and silently watches her show.
About a week ago, Jace bought her a stuffed mouse that she eyed across the store. To kind of torture the little girl, Jace slowly strolled next to the stuffed mouse three or four times in a row, watching Lili as her eyes stayed glued to the toy. So of course, the squishy softy dad that Jace is....he bought the $10.00 toy. And what does Lili do with the toy now, you ask? Drag. It. Everywhere. Everywhere. While she is crawling, she has it's ear in one hand, draggin it on the floor. If she is cruising on furniture...it's dangling by one ear in the air. While she is sitting, it's in her lap. And if she forgets it somewhere and I remind her of her toy.....her face lights up like a 40 watt lamp, and I'm suddenly super mom.
Other news in 'Cute Lili Land', Lilian has started saying "Hi." Not at the correct times........but it's the effort that counts....plus it's cute, so who cares if it's at the right time. Also, while at the wedding this weekend, a relative was holding her and I was in her crosshairs, so of course she started pointing at me and reaching. I didn't react because I want her to broaden out, but she started to breakdown, whine and all of a sudden as a little pointer finger is staring right at me I hear a loud, high pitched, whine of "Maaa"...... "MAMA!" My heart melted all over the floor. My little stinker called me Mama....I was on cloud nine. That was awesome.

While in Georgia for the wedding, we stayed in the little town that hosted this wedding. It's an adorable city. The kind of city you see in Life.tim.e movies take place in, where all you see are small houses with three steps lead up to the brick house, that are covered in orange and red fall leaves, with a nice stained glass lamp very dimly lit in the window. The kind of town that everyone leaves their doors unlocked and the worst crime that has happened since 1897 is that Buddy the goat ate old man Johnson's underpants from the clothes line. It's also the kind of town that everyone know's everyone's dirty secrets. It's the kind of town that seems like it would have a scary, creepy secret of it's own. All in all, when you take a deep breath in this town, you feel a little refreshed, and you want to stay a little longer.

I forgot to mention (or did I?) That my father came back from Europe. I saw pictures of his old village. I saw pictures of relatives I've never met and probably never will. I saw pictures of late night roasts and of old women, with head coverings, sitting outside peeling potatoes. I saw pictures of little children helping out on the farm that should be in school. I saw pictures of my father, smiling like I've never seen him smile. I saw pictures of a place that felt more like home that my own house. I saw pictures of a place that feels I should be living in those pictures. I saw pictures of place that made my father tear up, just thinking of the people he left behind once again. I think I saw pictures of a place I should do something about.

It's so hard

It's so hard for me to write a post when I feel so unmotivated.

We got back for the out of state wedding on Sunday morning....early, early morning. The wedding was fun, small, and sweet. Jace danced with his daughter.Lilian also danced with her GrandpaAnd her Grandmother.


This is Lili's Uncle making faces at her.........Jace unexpedictly took his picture.....awesome.



I drove the first half home at 11 o'clock at night. I decided to drive to the Florida border, which took about five hours, we got to the border at 4 o'clock in the morning....I was exhausted. From the border Jace drove home, I passed out in the back with Lilian.....well, she was sleeping since we left at 11 o'clock.

Some people call me Jackie O.

Hmph. I wish.
So my sister-in-law, H., were talking, as we usually do, and fashion came up, as it usually does. This conversation was a little different. Instead of it being, "do you like this?" "how about this?" it was more along the lines of "If you financially comfortable how would you wardrobe look? What would you style be?"

Right now, I am a t-shirt, jeans and flip flops kind of girl......by default. I am the epitome of a stay at home mom when it comes to clothes, they most be comfortable, realistic and easy to breastfeed in. Last time I checked, nursing clothes.....not fashionable. So back to our discussion. If I had enough cash to overhaul my wardrobe, I'd be a whole different woman. I have a picture in my head of how my personalty would dress, I'd be very Jackie O., very 1940's with some stepford wives mixed in there. As for a casual look? I have no idea. Maybe a little more sexy hippie? That looks comfortable and pretty. But even Jackie O.'s casual style was very pretty and elegant. She wore tight turtle necks with a straight legged tweed pants. Some how she made a blouse and jeans look like it's own style




See, I used to do the whole punk rock thing. I mean the spikes, studs, piercings, band shirts, even the hair. Once I got married though, I figured it was time to grow up. Now I'm kinda stuck in a fashion or style purgatory. Where flip flops have overtaken my closet and jeans are the only material I have for pants, I don't even want to get on the subject of shirts. ((sigh)) It's almost depressing that I've lost my style identity, you know? Sounds kind of shallow, but I believe style helps define a woman, it kind of gives people a preview of what kind of person and women you are.

So what kind of woman do you want people to see when they look at your style, or hope they see? Do you think your style does you justice? What would your style be if you were able to afford it?
I'd want my style to portray a classy, strong, almost intimidating image. Strange?

What is big, black and makes a lot of noise?

A garbage bag full of my dirty dishes. Don't you just hate it when you clean you whole kitchen and you blink and all of a sudden your sink is filled to the brim with dirty dishes. Like someone was hiding out a barrel of dirty dishes you had no idea existed. ((sigh)) I hate dirty dishes. That is why I am about to throw them all away. I am perfectly content with eating out of my hand, I can handle washing my hand when I'm done eating....the only problem is how can I heat things up in the microwave? PAPER PLATES HERE I COME!!

Ok, on to more important stuff. Saturday is Jace and I's 6 year anniversary.
6th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Candy
Modern Anniversary Gift: Iron

Iron? Do supplements count?
Anyways,usually we don't do much for our anniversaries, get each other a card or flowers and call it a day. But this year we are going out and little munchkin is staying home with Grandma, and for about three hours, I am not going to be a mom, just a wife. It's going to be fun. So far our marriage has been great. Granted we've gone through some rough times, but seriously, who hasn't? The important thing, and the element that's different, we got through it and are still married. I attribute that to our parents. My parents are still married (31 years) and so are Jace's (27 years). Jace and I have had great models to watch and learn from while growing up. We've learned what it takes to make a marriage last years on years on years, it's just up to us to executed what we've learned. And now that we have a family together, it's like the knot that marriage tied, has gotten tighter, it's triple tied.

So for every married and/or person in a serious relationship, what do you think is the reason you are still with your significant other? What has kept you together? Pulled you through the bad times holding hands still?

It's time!!

I bet all of you are just shaking in anticipation. You were looking forward to this post all weekend, right? HAH. I kid. Thank you for all the post, it did a lot better than I thought it would. Well here we go.

Morgan asked...

1. How is the not smoking cigarettes going? Actually it's going great. I had a relative visit that's a smoker....and it really made me realize that the cigarette "need" I thought I had was all in my head. I can't tell you how good it feels to know I am not addicted to cigarettes anymore. For example another relative left a pack of cigarettes at my house.....I wasn't even remotely tempted, not one single bit, and it felt a.w.e.s.o.m.e.

2. How did you and your hubby's relationship change once you had Lily?I think we are definitely closer. Our relationship has matured a lot. We realize what is trivial and important. I am a lot more bossy and possessive of Lily.

3. How long have you been with him? Well we've known each other for pretty much our whole lives, but we've been together for ten years and married for six years on this coming up Saturday.

4. What are your plans for Lily's first birthday party? We don't have any plans for Lilian's birthday. We are Jehovah's Witness' so she will be raised not celebrating any type of holiday's or birthday's.

5. How many different states have you been to? Ever been out of the country? I have been to 6 different states and never out of the country. I would LOVE to go to Yugoslavia, Italy, Ireland, Romania, Spain, England and Greece.

Misty Dawn asked...

Are you a baptized witness? Is DH? Both Jace and I are baptized Jehovah's Witness'

How many people in your family are JW's? Let's see. My parents, my brother, my great aunt, two uncles and their family and one aunt. For my husband it's only his parent's and siblings.

Do you have any non-believers in your Fam? How are you handling that now with Lily? Are you pressured to celebrate xmas and bdays? I do have quite a bit of non-believers in my close family. So far there has been no pressure from them regarding holidays and such. They have dealt with our beliefs long enough to know that Lilian is going to be raised the same, sometimes they are pretty rough when it comes to us not being involved in their holiday traditions, but I guess we'll see what happens. We don't really associate with them enough I think for it to be a problem.

Are you a SAHM? Yes I am. I love it.

When will you TTC#2? Probably the end of next year.

Elizabeth asked...

What was your reaction when you first saw that BFP? I was completely and utterly shocked, I was in disbelief. I was beyond estactic.

How long had you been trying? I was trying for almost exactly a year when I found out.

If you had a boy what would the name have been? Probably Jon. DH and I never really agreed on a boy name.

What was your wedding like? It was on a friday at the court house, with my parents, Brother and Grandmother. Jace had his family there too, and then Jace and I had to go to work....yup worked on our wedding day.

What are your hobbies? Hobbies...hmm...let's see. Nothing right now. Before I got pregnant, I played raquet ball all the time, it was so much fun. I need to get back into it. I really wanted to start photography and scrapbooking though.

Christina asked...

Where do you live? Tampa, FL

How long have you been blogging? Since December of last year.

Do you still go on webmd? Occasionally, I mainly just Lurk, I don't agree with a lot of things posted on there , so I just stay on the sidelines.

Sorry I am not that exciting! Thanks for all the questions thought, it was so much fun. If you thought of a question and forgot to post.....go right ahead!

I don't think enough people read me.

But I'll throw my heart out there and ask any ways. I wanted to try a Q & A post and see what happens. They look like so much fun, I want to try it out. So there it is, I said and can't take it back. Hopefully more than one person asks a question. Ask anything. I will repost in a day the questions and answers. Uh oh. I'm scared of the outcome.

This is the first time I'm not looking forward to the 8th

In five days, my little baby is going to be 11 months old. Crazy. Yes. I know. This is the very first time I want the power to slow or possibly stop time from moving forward. I don't like the idea of her turning into a toddler, because that officially means she won't be my little baby anymore. It's a little depressing. ((sigh)) What can you do but, hope that time stops? She's been developing by leaps and bounds lately and while I'm more than ecstatic, I also see the toddler in her starting to emerge. She's starting to walk with barley holding on to my fingers. She's understanding more commands, like she'll dance if you ask her, crawl to you when you call her. She's also wanting to eat on her own more now, when I give her table food that is.

((sigh)) I cursed myself. I remember when she was first born. I was stressed and scared beyond recognition, I muttered everyday "I can't wait until she's older!". And now that she's here......I don't like it. It scared me more than when she was a itty bitty baby.
I shouldn't be all negative about her getting older I guess. We have a lot of things to look forward to. Now she is more appreciative of her surroundings, so going to the zoo will be our next "first". Or even the Ta.mpa Aquarium, or and of course Dis.ne.y Wo.rld. I wonder if the big characters will scare her? I look forward to her saying "mama". She's calling me "dada" right now. Yeah. She's mixed up.

So you mama's out there, how do you feel about you little one growing up on ya?

And now for your viewing enjoyment and your reccommended dose of "Lilian cuteness" here are some pictures.

I have nothing.

Sorry for the lack of .....um....letting you know I still exist. Well last weekend we went to a religious convention. It was awesome in all aspects. They even had a nursing room set aside for all the nursing mothers. It had a radio with a bunch of chairs and a nice air purifying fan. Here is Lily paying attention to the convention.


I swear my boobs didn't look like they were going to pop out and poke someone in the eye, when I tried the dress on. Sorry.

Anyways, back to the convention. It was so encouraging to be around all of these nursing moms, it was also interesting to see how different people are. Some women would just bust out a boobie and start feeding, others would take two hours to cover themselves and hide the baby, etc. etc. I was the first of the two. I just don't really care too much, if you don't want to see a boobie, then don't look, is my motto. If you are shy, I have nothing against it. But Lilian wouldn't let me be shy, if I even attempted to cover her, she'd throw the blanket right off.
So that weekend, for whatever reason, Lilian was a nursing fool. Maybe it was her security blanket for being in a different place? Other than that, she did awesome. We went out to eat that weekend a couple of times, Lilian and I shared food, and she took daily naps on my lap. It was awesome.
As soon as we got back home though, she got a little under the weather. The doctor thinks she might be allergic to Kitty, our cat. Yup, that's right, our cat is named Kitty, it's so original it blows your mind, right? I know. So we have to give her away. Lilian is starting to feel a little better though.
Well, in other news my father is officially back in his old country. My mom was a wreck when he was on his way. Every few minutes "Lari, can you check and see if your father's flight is on time?" "Lari can you check if your father's flight left?" "Can you see if the flight landed?" I guess that's how it is after being married for 30+ years. My father was a little hesistant to leave, he doesn't see the point, in his eyes, his family is here. But I know he will enjoy himself and all of his childhood memories will come flooding back to him, I wish I could have gone with him.


My brother helped him find a nice digital camera and gave my father a tutorial on how to use it. My father is cute, the night before his departure, we (Lilian, Jace, my brother and his wife and my mother.) were all at my parents, and I hear my dad in the backround "Alright Danny, let's reveiw!" Holding up the camera pointing at my brother. I'm really looking forward to seeing pictures of my family I never had the chance to meet. The Grandmother I never got to bond with or hear old world stories from, or get wet uninvited kisses from. I can't wait to see how my Uncle looks, I've always heard we look alike. I wonder if it's true. I won't get to see how my Grandfather looks though, he passed away when I first got married 6 years ago. Even though I never met him, I remember how much I cried, I cried like him and I had a past. I cried because I lost my chance to ever meet him and hug him. I digress.

Well I'll leave you all with a picture of Lilian and bubbles. I gave her a bath with this stuff thats for babies with colds...I didn't know it made bubbles ( a big no-no, according to my pedi.)