Her first day

I thought it'd be only appropriate to begin with my birth story. It's not fantastic or dramatic by any means, but it's my own and I will always remember every minute of that day.
The morning of my induction on October 8th, I was already awake at 5:30 am. I wasn't due at the Labor and Delivery ward for another three hours. I couldn't sleep. One reason was because of my large pregnant belly, and another was because I was about to meet my daughter for the first time, and I was nervous. What would I say to her? Will I cry? After taking my sweet time in the shower that morning, and getting ready, my husband and I were off to the hospital. Let me briefly explain the reason for my induction. I was 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant and my large baby for my small frame didn't show any sign of dropping into my pelvis any time soon. So at the risk of a C-section, my doctor proposed a induction....I agreed. Back to the birth story. We arrived at L & D right on time and approached the nurse station. They handed us standard paperwork and pointed us in the direction of some chairs, for some reason I almost felt like I was at the DMV. So as I was briefly reading and signing the paperwork, I came across the document asking if you would like to receive a blood transfusion, if something should happen during labor and you'd need it. I felt the blood leave my face, all of a sudden I realized the seriousness of this. Something could go wrong. Just than a nurse looked at me with sympathetic eyes and said "This is your first time, huh?" I just simply nodded. She ushered us to our room and told me to disrobe. So as I lay in the hospital bed, feeling butterflies in my stomach, and what I thought was Lilian pushing against my uterus, I waited for my attending nurse and my doctor.
Minutes later a nurse dressed in festive Halloween scrubs and smelling like cigarettes came in. She wrapped my belly with two monitors. One to monitor my baby's heartbeat and another for my contractions. "Oh, that was a large contraction" she said. Ummm I thought that was Lilian moving. Nope I was already in active labor. I was 4cm dilated, 100% effaced and having contractions 6-8 minutes apart. How ironic. The day I'm supposed to be induced I'm already in labor and totally unaware. I was given fluids and my water was broken. The contractions got really intense. I tried to bare the pain as best as I could and for as long as I could. Every contraction made me more and more tired. So after having contractions for 2 hours, I asked for an epidural. The anesthesiologist came in to read me the warnings, I was having a contraction so it seemed so trivial at the time, than they asked me to repeat after them "My name is Larissa, today is October 8th and I am requesting a epidural". Than as I sat and waited for them to finish putting in the epidural, I heard the doctor call the nurse. "She won't stop bleeding." My husband got a little concerned. "What won't stop bleeding?" he said. The epidural site continued to bleed and bleed. Than that paper I signed, that one I declined any transfusion should something happen, came flashing back. After several minutes the doctors finally got the site to clot.
The pain relief seemed very light, I still felt the contractions pretty well, along with quite a bit of pressure, I just didn't feel the intense burn and exhaustion of every contraction. Only a couple of minutes after receiving my epidural, I told the nurse I was ready to push. She checked me and I was already 9cm. My doctor came in along with my Halloween nurse and we did a couple of practice pushes. Than all of a sudden my doctor just walked out of the room. I thought where is he going? Why in the world would he leave now? He came back dressed in scrubs with a baby nurse and what look like surgical tools.
I pushed for two more hours, with my epidural no longer effective for the past hour. I wasn't allowed to press the button to administer more. I felt Lilian was very close to being born, I felt like I couldn't push any harder than I have been. But everyone insisted that I push harder. I've already blown a eye vessel and my face swelled up so large. Than with the last push I felt a second wind, and Lilian was born. The doctor laid her on my chest, and there she is, her butt in my face. My eyes gave way to a flood of tears. I never felt so many emotions at once with so much intensity. The pain seemed absent as I stared at my new baby. She was mine, she actually belonged to me, I made her.....how crazy.
I watched the nurses measure her, 8lbs 1.5oz and 20inches long. The doctor was tending to me and I didn't even notice.
The nurse brought her over, cleaned and bundled up. We started breastfeeding right away, she was a natural. And so began my journey of being a mother.